Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
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Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
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