What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room?
100 people that don''t do dick!
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How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders.
Did you hear about the two lesbians who bought an organ so they could play hymns?
Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A. She kept having affairs with men!
How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
Even the pool table has no balls.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?
A fruit stand.
It was 5:00 in the morning at the U.S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks.
The drill sergeant walks in and bellows, "This is an inspection! I wanna see you's all formed up outside butt naked NOW!"
So, the soldier's quickly jumped out of bed, naked and shivering, and ran outside to form up in their three ranks.
The sarge walked out and yells, "Close up the ranks, conserve your body heat!" So they close in slightly...
The captain comes along with his swagger stick.
He goes to the first soldier and whacks him right across the chest with it. "DID THAT HURT?" he yells.
"No, Sir!" came the reply.
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a U.S. Marine, Sir!"
The captain is impressed, and walks on to the next man.
He takes the stick and whacks the soldier right across the rear.
"Did THAT hurt?"
"No, Sir!"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a U.S. Marine, Sir!"
Still extremely impressed, the captain walks to the third guy, and sees he has an enormous erection. Naturally, he gave his target a huge WHACK with the swagger stick.
"Did THAT hurt?"
"No, Sir!"
"Why not?"
"Because it belongs to the guy behind me, Sir!"
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
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What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
See ya next month.
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A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous.
"My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"
"I'd say you're a lesbian!"