Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes?
A: 12 pirates.
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How did Captain Hook die?
He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
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Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
A: Captain Squid.
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!"
Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
Me driving by a Taco Bell.
Sign: Now Hiring Managers.
Two weeks later:
Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.
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Q: Why are black people, pirates?
A: Because they go nigarrr.
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Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt.
After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."
"That's very sensible, sir."
At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon.
The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.
"Get my brown pants."
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.
"Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag."
"That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought."
Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
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