Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
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Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
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Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal.
Then he places the bowl.
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Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.
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Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
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When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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