Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
Just say, "Fees."
Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Why don’t lawyers enjoy fishing?
Because it’s too much like work, what with all the lying involved.
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning?
Shoot him before he hits the water!
