Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
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To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it.
She's crying
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“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
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The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
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Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department."
"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered.
"Look."
He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway.
"Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered.
Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath.
"You're not there, sir," he reported.
"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."