Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys."
Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch.
"That was amazing," exclaimed the coach.
"I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?"
"Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods.
He is now known as Shrek.
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An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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