What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Basketball
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Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
Squash
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.
The Lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher.
Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35.
Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.
So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
Vote:
Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans?
A: Squash.
After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded.
The couch says to him:
You should better take a decision!
You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...
Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl?
A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
Vote:
What are the most athletic rodents?
Track and field mice.