Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.
"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour.
Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas.
In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman.
"But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
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Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google.
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately.
However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets.
Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?"
His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
You realize that you are dependent of the internet when:
You forget in what year you are.
You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened.
You dream only of quick connections.
You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.
Why was the computer tired when he got home?
Because he had a hard drive.
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The web isn’t better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble.
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
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