I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
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Daughter: "That's it! I'll mary Arthur!"
Mother: "But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker!"
Father: "But you have to start with something!"
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What do you call of 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
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A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks.
He untied her and they had sex.
Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in.
Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
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How can you tell if you have acne?
If the blind can read your face.
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Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her crack.
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"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality."
"Who told you that?"
"Gynecologist."
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Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned.
The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body.
Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad.
You better roll him over."
The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thinks this is strange.
Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body.
Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba."
The mortician asks, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes."
"What? He had two assholes?!" exclaims the mortician.
"Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
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Two clones are on a roof.
One clone pushes the other clone off.
The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
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Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
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Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
They were given a right roasting.
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