How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it.
I'm serious that Israeli how he does it.
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The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
A: A bullet actually comes out of its chamber.
The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit.
Jews don't pay for anything.
Q: What's faster than a speeding bullet?
A: A Jew with a coupon.
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race?
A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
Vote:
Q: What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
A: Free Pork.
Q: Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off.
Why do Jews watch porn backwards?
Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.
A Jewish family invited their Redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner.
The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is a soup made with matzoh balls."
On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the redneck man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew.
Gently, the Jewish couple urged him to, "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it."
Finally, he agrees.
He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in the spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual mmmm sound can be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup.
"That was delicious," he said, but I was wondering...
"Can you eat any other parts of the matzoh?"
An elderly rabbi was once on an airplane to Israel sitting next to a self-professed atheist.
They were amicably chatting the whole trip.
Every now and then, the rabbi's grandchild, sitting in another row, would come over to him, bringing him a drink, or asking if he could get anything to make him more comfortable.
After this happened several times, the atheist sighed, "I wish my grandchildren would treat me with such respect. They hardly even say hello to me. What's your secret?"
The rabbi replied: "Think about it. To my grandchildren, I am two generations closer to Adam and Eve, the two individuals made by the hand of G‑d. So they look up to me. But according to the philosophy which you teach your grandchildren, you are two generations closer to being an ape. So why should they look up to you?"