Joke #13419

Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!

Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."

Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!

One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.

One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."

3 Stages of Sex: 1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room. 2. Bedroom Sex - After you've been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom. 3. Hall Sex - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hall and say, "F**k you!"