Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A: A firequaker!
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A duck, a pigeon, and a chicken all walk into a courtroom...
The judge asked the duck, "What is your crime?"
The duck responds, "I was blowing bubbles in front of City Hall."
The judge says, "There's no crime committed here, you're free to go."
The judge then asks the pigeon, "What is your crime?"
The pigeon responds, "I was also blowing bubbles in front of City Hall."
The judge looks a little confused but finally says, "There's no crime committed here, you're also free to go."
Lastly, the chicken walks up to the judge, and the judge asks, "What is your crime?"
The chicken, first looking back at the pigeon and the duck, then turning to the judge says, "I'm bubbles."
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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Yo' Mama is so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner.
Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck.
The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up.
Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in.
"Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
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Q: What kind of doctor does a duck visit?
A: A Ducktor.
Q: What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?
A: A pecking order.
Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.
Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.