Joke #12320

She said "Gym or me". Sometimes I miss her.

Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls.

I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.

Do you squat here often?

Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. "How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

At the gym: Me: "What does this machine do?" "Sir, that's a bench." Me: "Perfect."

A pregnant lady learns from her dentist that she needs a root canal. She says to the dentist, "darn ... I'd just as soon give birth as have a root canal". The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind so I know what position to put the chair in".

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Womem"? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.

After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.