Q: Why was the lesbian sick?
A: She was lacking vitamin D.
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An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his.
They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew.
After some time, one said to the other, "If you don’t mind my saying so, you don’t look very good, you must have experienced some bad luck."
"Yes," the other one said, "I have. You see this peg leg? Well, one day I was out on deck and my leg become dangled up in a loose line and it was so badly mangled that they had to take it off at the knee."
His friend agreed that was bad luck.
The other one continued. "You see I have a hook for a hand. One day I was out on deck when a shipmate of mine fell overboard. I leaned over as far as I could in a attempt to rescue him and as I extended my hand to him a shark took my hand off."
"My, you really did experience bad luck, the other responded, I see you have a patch over one eye, What happened to your eye?"
"Well, I was out on deck again one day and just as I looked up, a seagull that was flying over , unloaded, and got me right in the eye."
"My, My,(not real sailor talk) did that take your eye out?"
"No, that was the first day I had my hook."
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
See ya next month.
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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A salad shooter.
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What’s the difference between a straight woman and a bisexual woman?
4 drinks.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A. She kept having affairs with men!
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous.
"My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"
"I'd say you're a lesbian!"
I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus.
That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with eight girlfriends?
A: An octopus.
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Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
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