Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed?
A: Man, this music sucks.
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Three kids were smoking behind the shed.
"My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first.
"Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy.
"That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Baby, baby, baby ooh!
Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber?
Daughter: No, I'm watching porn.
Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
A: She will "let it go let it go".
Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
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When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
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Q: How did the sand get wet?
A: The sea weed!
Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor?
A: Drug Abuse.