"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
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Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there.
Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how...
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Surfing in Nebraska.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few peas short of a casserole.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
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Happy Father's Day!
I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it.
By the way, can I borrow $20?
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Men come in three sizes:
Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
Why are all jokes about women one-liners?
So men can understand them.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Which is the most confusing day in America?
Father's day!
80% don't know whom to wish.
Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
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