Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it's Halloween!
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I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.
It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels.
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers
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Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house?
The whole vibe was anything ghost.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body.
I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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Yo mama's so overweight she kills thousands just by sitting down.
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
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