How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"
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Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a store opened next door with a huge sign that said, BEST DEALS!” To make things worse, another store opened on the other side with a huge sign reading “LOWEST PRICES!”
He nearly panicked until he had the idea to put up his own sign, bigger that the other two, that read, “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth.
I lie about my age.’
Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The "elf"-abet!
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
Q: What kind of money do elves use?
A: Jingle bills!