Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head.
The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it.
The genie said, "I will grant you one wish."
He said, "I wish I were smarter".
So the genie made him a Republican.
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Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people?
A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.
Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common?
A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom!
Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them cause they will never see the light.
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Two hikers are out hiking.
All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them.
The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.
The second hiker says, "What are you doing?"
The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we ll have to jump down and make a run for it."
The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear?
The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market?
A: One that hands out slices of cheese.