Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
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Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
Little Johnny was a chemist.
Little Johnny is no more.
What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid."
"Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
Q: What do you get when you complete science class?
A: A graduated cylinder.
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