Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
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Most tough men eat nails for breakfast.
Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
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Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris can split the atom.
With his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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