One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chick Norris has never pooped because nothing scares the shot out of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
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Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
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When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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