Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
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Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks.
They speak for themselves.
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Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
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Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
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The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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Moses did not part the sea.
Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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