Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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In the beginning, God created light because Chuck allowed him to.
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.
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The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
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Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
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What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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