Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
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When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
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Chuck Norris once joined the Army.
That's how the motto, "An Army of One" was created.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
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