Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?
A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
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What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
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Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?
A: He drowned in his own tea pe
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A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda."
The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'"
"No," the guy says. "My farts do."
So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside.
After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist."
The guy says, "Why a dentist?"
The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth."
The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?"
The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
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Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.
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Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
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