Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes?
A: 12 pirates.
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Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!
The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: Management.
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A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness.
He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
A: Captain Squid.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis.
The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?"
And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
Q: How do pirates make their money?
A: By hook or by crook!
Roses are red, violets are blue...
I'm in love but not with you...
When we broke up you thought I cried
But all it was...
Was another guy,
You told your friends that I was a trick,
I told mine that you had a weak dick...
I said I loved you
And you thought it was true,
But guess what baby?!
You got played too!
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt.
After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."
"That's very sensible, sir."
At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon.
The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.
"Get my brown pants."