Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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Once, an entire country disagreed with Chuck Norris.
It's now known as the moon
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Chuck Norris once played The Price Is Right.
The prices attempted to guess the numbers Chuck Norris was thinking of.
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Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
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Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
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