Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.
Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
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Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
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July 4th is Independence day.
And the day Chuck Norris was born.
Coincidence? I think not.
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Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
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Chuck Norris decided 50 years of Micheal Jackson was enough
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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