Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
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Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding.
Chuck gave him a warning.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens.
And dies.
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