Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!
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The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
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Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris.
His voice is still up there today.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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