Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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You know the movie, Alien VS Predator?
Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
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Chuck Norris once replied to a 'no-reply' mail, and got the answer he wanted.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
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