What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?
A charmer farmer.
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On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes.
Near hear another chick stops and says to hear:
Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat?
But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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What happened to the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?
An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Beef-flat!
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt.
This parrot was a very nasty parrot.
It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer.
The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped.
George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.”
He opened the door and saw the bird alive!
The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again.
George said, “Why the change?”
The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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Q: What creature has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.