Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower.
He uses Meteor Showers.
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Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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