Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest.
Then he came back for his axe.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris had never escape from jail.
Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
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