Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size.
When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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Chuck Norris built Rome with a box of scraps.
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The reason why the desert is dry is because Chuck Norris got thirsty.
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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
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Chuck Norris beat the Hulk in an arm wreslting contest... with his leg.
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