Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
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Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
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Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
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Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
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Walker Texas Ranger wasn't an action crime drama, it was a documentary.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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