Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation.
Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
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Chuck Norris can watch music.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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Chuck Norris invented his own brand of media disc.
The Black and Blueray.
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When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
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Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
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