Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D.
There where no survivors.
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Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
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Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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