Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
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Chuck Norris tried juggling once... and now we have our solar system.
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If you step on a crack, Chuck Norris will break your back.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
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