Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
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James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
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Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.
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The First Law of Thermodynamics states:
Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.
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In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
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Thomas Edson made a shadow on a paper that Chuck Norris was reading, then Thomas Edson decided to create the electric light.
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