A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped.
"Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant.
Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began.
I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree!
I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree!
I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles.
That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
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A: It's the signature of the three blondes who "act" in it
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: Because she couldn't find the 11
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A: "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
Vote:
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.
Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold?
A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Why did the blonde go to KFC?
She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
"You keep hearing about them, but never see any."
If you drop a blonde and a brunette 100ft, which hits the ground first?
The brunette.
The blonde has to ask directions on the way down.
How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.
A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother.
When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."
He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room.
He unzips his pants and takes out his penis.
The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"