Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
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Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women?
A: men have an antenna!
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Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin.
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute."
What am I...? A microwave?
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Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
There is the chief of Indians, and he is going down a field with his tribe, and they come across a pile of sh*t.So the chief asks his tribe men :
"Does this look like sh*t to you?"
"Yes is does", they replied.
"Smell it. Does it smell like sh*t to you", asks the Chief.
"Mmmmm..Yes"
"Feel it. Does it feel like sh*t to you?", says the Chief.
"Mmmmm..Yes"
"Lick it. Does it taste like sh*t to you?", inquires the Chief.
"Ammmm...Yes"
"Good. Don't step on it!"
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings.
One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?'
An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in."
She lets him in and goes "how can we help?"
The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice tits"
What is a "successful hunting trip"?
When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days