My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
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Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline.
If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine.
Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Yo momma is so fat she was walking down the street, tripped and broke her leg and gravy rolled out.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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Strong people don't put other people down.
They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
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Someone call CSI.
I just killed my workout.
Your mama's so fat she asked for a water bed and we threw a blanket on the ocean.
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An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason.
The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?"
The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?"
"No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."