She said "Gym or me".
Sometimes I miss her.
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Two programmers after work, talking in a pub:
"You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar."
- And what did you do ?
"I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her."
"Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?"
"I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop."
"Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
At the gym:
Me: "What does this machine do?"
"Sir, that's a bench."
Me: "Perfect."
Yo mama so stupid she though iHop was a gym!
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
Vote:
I do two hours of cardio every day.
But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine.
Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
Vote:
There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout.
Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today."
The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?"
Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."