Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
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A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "Trick or treat?"
I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?"
He said, "A werewolf."
I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on."
He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed.
That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."
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I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers
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Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it's Halloween!
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel.
He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled"
The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
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Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels.