Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: Why accountants don't read novels?
A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
Vote:
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.
One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
Vote:
My girlfriend used to fake foreplay.
A man falls asleep on a beach and gets severe sunburn.
He’s rushed to hospital by his wife
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing:
"He's such a sensitive child.
Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
Q: When do accountants laugh out loud?
A: When somebody asks for a raise.
Vote:
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe