Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less?
A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.
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Q: What's the difference between death and taxes?
A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections?
A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
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Q: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant?
A: He's had a loophole named after him.
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The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.
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Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK?
A: He can claim Gift Relief.
Q: What's the difference between killing time and killing niggers?
A: You can only kill so much time.
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A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day.
As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision.
After careful consideration, he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves.
Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves.
His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time.
The clerk carefully wrapped both items but in the process got them mixed up.
The sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the panties.
The young man mailed his Valentine's Day gift with the following note:
"This special Valentines Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove.
These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely."
I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again."
When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
Just think how many times I'll be kissing them in the future. I hope you'll wear them Friday night for me."
Love, Cuddle Bear
PS: The sales lady says the latest style is to wear them folded down with just a little fur showing.
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Joke has 84.45 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: customer service, family, love, time, Valentines day
Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year?
A: They couldn't find the three wise men!
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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