Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
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Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
HAND JOB: $10.00
He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.
"Can I help you?" she asks.
"I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
Question: What’s the ideal breakfast setting?
Answer: You’re sitting at the kitchen table and your son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of a milk carton.
Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag?
A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
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Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die?
A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
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